Product Announcement: The CumuLinker Whisperer

NOT fake news! This fictional product announcement is a premise for the novel.

The CumuLinker Whisperer: A Product To Rejuvenate Your Social Life in 2017

New York Chimes, January 15 2017

CumuLinker, the “Universal social Data manager”announced its first wearable, the Whisperer. This device is a packaged processor the size of a small stick of gum, inserted into an attachable flat, silver case. Included in the package are earables that adapt to the wearer’s hearing needs. An optional BodyReader extends fitness trackers to communicate with Whisperers of the wearer and nearby Whisperees.

Whisperer wearers who encounter each other will hear a customized version of the other’s social profile. That’s it, the perfect universal third party introduction to jumpstart a conversation, avoid embarrassing lapses, and even update a whole room of acquaintances concurrently.

Earables fit comfortably and require only a few minutes practice to adjust to hearing social profiles spoken in the miraculous voices you’re now familiar with on Smart Phones, GPS, and public announcements.

CumuLinker will be offering trial sessions at meetups across North America. Dubbed XSM, for ‘eXtended Social Media’, Whisperees will learn new techniques of technology-mediated conversation, face-to-face, guided by CumuLinker’s Universal Social Graph in the cloud.

XSM is coming to your location soon, Whisperer package start at $59. Customized 3D printable case designs are available.

NOT fake news! This fictional product announcement is a premise for the novel.

Announcement: The Textualized Whisperer, Available January 10, 2018

CumuLinker now offers the Whisperer embedded in a wired fabric/plastic sheet. Decorate and wear anywhere. Join a local competition to display your innovation in decorating the Whisperer for pleasurable interaction at eXtreme Social Media events. $89.

March 24 2018 Coming Soon: CumuLinker Gives You ‘Life Replayed’

The fantastic CumuLinker Whisperer has an app! ‘Life Replayed’, running on the Whisperer processor in CumuCloud settings, helps you remember your life’s precious moments. In trial now at celebratory events. Hold a Whisperer decoration competition and offer multiple lives replayed for winners. Be the first reunion that starts where your college days left off, right up to the present. Free, with CumuLinker eXtreme Social Media booking.